Tuesday, February 10, 2009

This time last year

This time last year I lost my Dad. I thought I would feel the grief I felt that day, but I still just feel the disbelief that he is gone. When any tragedy strikes - someone passes, or needs brain surgery, or whatever it may be - I tend to think of it over the next year as "this time last year we didn't know dad was sick." OR "This time last year Blondie could use two hands." This date closes a bit of a chapter for me, because this time last year we lost my dad. That's it. We don't get to talk to him, or see him at the end of the table. We can't call him to help pull down a tree, or talk politics (oh, he would have a FIELD DAY right now), or gain any insight into the world based on his experience.
We are still a very close family, but various family members have left us over the last couple years, and it is changing. I guess that is what time does with us, teaches us to cope with change. One of my girls has an interesting way of dealing with these changes - she writes letters to my dad, and then burns them in the fire pit so they can reach heaven. I see her do it quietly, and it is very personal to her, but a way to feel connected to her granddad.

So, in honor of my dad, a few more pictures of him.

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